George MacDonald: At the back of the North Wind

When God closes a door, He always opens another one. Such is the spirit of faith shown by the great 19th century Scottish writer George MacDonald as he struggled to provide for the earthly needs of his young family that threatened to envelop them in the slums of poverty while he battled against his recurring attacks of bronchitis. Perhaps through cracks in the walls of his home through which the winter "wind blew like knives", did MacDonald get the original idea of writing a book which later turned out to be his most enduring bestseller, At the back of the North Wind (ABNW).

In those days, the chief form of entertainment and information came from lectures given by the learned, in which the intellectual climate can be said to be more sophisticated and discerning. Though a popular lecturer himself, he is not able to keep up with the demands of extensive traveling due to his health - suffering from exarcebations of asthma and probably chest infections which was prevalent in those days. At the age of 32, he had already lost his mother, two brothers and a stepsister at a time when the mortality rate in the Victorian age was high due to poor living and working conditions.

ABNW probably reveals the best of MacDonald's imaginative genius as well as the simplest of storyform about the wanderings of an ill boy,named Diamond which took place in two worlds, the real world of 19th century Victorian London and the dream world where the adventures began at the back of the North Wind. It is a delightful story that appeals to children, yet can be perplexing to the young minds as in this statement by North Wind, acting on the decree from God, as she was about to cause a ship to sink:

"How can you bear it then, North Wind? For I am sure you are kind. I shall never doubt that again.", Diamond asked (as he was being carried between the bosom and the arm of North Wind).

"I will tell you how I am able to bear it, Diamond: I am always hearing, through every noise, through all the noise I am making myself even, the sound of a far-off song. I do not exactly know where it is, or what it means; and I don't hear much of it, only the odour of its music, as it were, flitting across the great billows of the ocean outside this air in which I make such a storm; but what I do hear is quite enough to make me able to bear the cry from the drowning ship. So it would you if you could hear it."

There is also this most moving account at its conclusion:

I walked up the winding stair, and entered his room. A lovely figure, as white and almost as clear as alabaster, was lying on the bed. I saw at once how it was. They thought he was dead. I knew that he had gone to the back of the north wind.

It is a story of two worlds being merged into one, their presence are felt immediately as if one can pass from one world into another, naturally and without warning. Witness the conversation between the child and North Wind:

"Well, please, North Wind, you are so beautiful, I am quite ready to go with you."

"You must not be ready to go with everything beautiful all at once, Diamond."

"But what's beautiful can't be bad. You're not bad, North Wind?"

"No; I'm not bad. But sometimes beautiful things grow bad by doing bad, and it takes some time for their badness to spoil their beauty. So little boys may be mistaken if they go after things because they are beautiful."

"Well, I will go with you because you are beautiful and good too."

"Ah, but there's another thing, Diamond. What if I should look ugly without being bad-- look ugly myself because I am making ugly things beautiful? What then?"

"I don't quite understand you, North Wind. You tell me what then."

"Well, I will tell you....If you see me flapping wings like a bat's, as big as the whole sky, don't be frightened. If you hear me raging ten times worse than Mrs Bill, the blacksmith's wife--you must believe that I am doing my work. Nay, Diamond, if I change into a serpent or a tiger, you must not let go your hold on me, for my hand will never change in yours if you keep a good hold. If you keep a hold, you will know who I am all the time, even when you look at me and can't see me the least like the North Wind. I may look something awful. Do you understand?"

"Quite well," said little Diamond.

"Come along, then," said North Wind, and disappeared behind the mountain of hay.

Diamond crept out of bed and followed her.

He kept writing until well into his 73rd year - even though his health worsened because of his tendency to develop asthma, bronchits and eczema which has also kept him from sleeping well. He said it was foolish to say that after a certain age, a man ceases to grow. As he revealed in a passage from Paul Faber, Surgeon: "A man who does not care and ceases to grow, becomes torpid, stiffens, is in a sense dead; but he who has been growing need never stop; and where growth is, there is always capability of change: growth itself is a succession of slow, ascending changes".

The popularity and the fairy element in his books continued to this day. He attracted the interest of some of the most celebrated literary critics of the 20th century including C.S. Lewis (author of Chronicles of Narnia) and J.R.R. Tolkien (The Hobbit, Lord of the Rings). C.S. Lewis commented, "What he does best is fantasy....And this, in my opinion, he does better than any man.....MacDonald is the greatest genius of this kind whom I know." Poet WH Auden said, "In his power....to project his inner life into images...., he is one of the most remarkable writers of the nineteenth century."

I loved his portrayal of the innocence of childhood, nature and the Scottish mountains, streams and fields. He had an unique approach to dreams and a tender but penetrating wisdom concerning death as can be seen in ABNW.

The legacy of his literary gift lives on, and his major works can be found in The Golden Key.

Work in progress

Chess, Art and a death on New Year's Eve

Happy New Year! Xin Nien Kuai Ler! I woke up feeling a little uneasy. The morning weather was fine, but my uncle passed away last night...to another world…just before the display of fireworks lighted up the sky. My wife and I headed straight for his house. I wanted to see his face for the last time. He was a victim of complications from diabetes. Whether it was his dizzy spells resulting in fall injuries, intractable pruritus in which he consulted numerous dermatologists as well as sinsehs, or multiple episodes of low sugar attacks which prompted me to make emergency house calls, his past few months is one slow train ride in suffering. Perhaps realising that he would never regain his health, I saw him slide towards major depression and later stupor. I've started him on antidepressants and reinitiated the treatment regime several times but there was no firm follow-through on the part of the family. However, his children, in the spirit of filial piety, has been 100% committed in getting him proper specialist attention and bringing him in and out of hospital.

So, the life of this 71 year old man is lost but the story lives on. I can only say that, more than mere words, the true biography may be revealed one day by the One who has the authority. This afternoon, I immersed myself in a world of 64 squares - I played chess on the internet, just to clear my mind, you see. Do you know that you can play chess even right now? You only need a dial-up connection - it does not take up much bandwidth. Until I joined the internet chess folks 2 years ago, I have not been shoving wood on the chessboard for more than 20 years since my schooldays. I was a former school champion but my recent play is really rusty. Furthermore, I have not updated myself in the openings which would normally take up a huge chunk of memory for the aspiring chess player. Training towards gaining an international master title is hard work. The Bobby Fischer wannabes practically eat and sleep chess everyday.

I am now a regular at Chessbase as well as a registered member of US based worldchessnetwork for a period. WCN is one of the most friendly chess network I’ve discovered. You get to play and train with many grandmasters and international masters. I had the privilege of playing blitz games against Gata Kamsky, the former World Championship candidate finalist in 1994, Larry Christiansen, US Chess Champion in 2002, and Irina Krush, former US Women champion. Larry is a great chesscafe talker and plays instructive games. Needless to say, I lost tamely to them. Occasionally, they made unorthodox opening moves which I wasn’t prepared for as well as piece sacrifices which on computer analysis later, I found to be unsound. They won because of better time control, experience and reputation. Here, I want to digress a little. WCN, incidentally, is co-sponsored by Dato’ Tan Chin Nam, the IGB Corp magnate. IGB Corp is the developer of Midvalley Megamall and Sierramas. He is also the entrepreneur who developed the country’s first condominium and initiated many low cost housing projects back in the 1970s. He also sponsored the annual week long Malaysian Chess Festival held at around Merdeka Day which attracted many foreign participants.

Recently in an autobiography called Never Say I Assume, on the Malaysian chess scene, he said chess has been rejuvenated, but not revolutionised. This businessman turned philantropist’s assessment of the current position is that developing top level chess players is a challenge because of the family and social structures in our country. Still a market economy, Malaysia is a sober nation sitting on the cusp betw Third World and developed nation status. Firm family structures produce obedient children. With no welfarism, parents are more intent on their children studying and later working hard to earn their daily bread.

How true! The relevant education bodies should promote chess in a scholastic manner as is done in US and Singapore. It is a game of logic and imagination which makes you responsible for every last move you make. For me, chess is similar to art, where one finds an expression, although playing the game is involving your opponent in an art of war! It is not a boxing game though. It is a game where you can make friends. But nowadays, on the internet, people are more concerned with winning, with or without computer assistance! Anyway, the personality and temperament of each player will determine how he or she looks at the game.

The artistic element in chess can be perceived in different ways - it is a subjective thing. Compare the difference between how a human and a chess program play chess. While a human being can produce fireworks on board with his creativity and imagination apart from logical thinking, the beauty of a super grandmaster level computer software like Deep Fritz, lies in its sheer calculation speed. When you find yourself in a strategically lost position playing against the program, even though materials on both sides are equal, you know you have been beaten by raw mathematical precision. It's like a python slowly but surely strangulating you to death!

Another reason why I say chess is art is from personal experience. When I am immersing myself in the game, concentrating and doing some analysis, I sometimes feel like I am transported to another world, much like doing a form of transcendental meditation. I feel like I am in another place, surrounded by nature. Lately, to confirm my suspicion that chess is an artform, Fritz programmers have unveiled another program, called Ludwig, that can actually compose music. Not only that, Ludwig can compose songs to suit your level of competency in the musical instrument of your choice! You can listen to some sample compositions here. Makes me want to take my old Yamaha flute out, give it a little shine and start playing again! If you ask me whether this program can compose Sesame Street like tunes, well maybe. What about Kenny G stuff? No way!

Christmas and the Great Flood

Have a Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!

I would just like to let my fellow Christians that I am acquainted with know that you have the potential to spread 'joy to the world' because you are the joy itself!

Spare a thought for the flood victims in Johor and other parts of Malaysia as well as Sumatra. Such bad timing for a natural disaster to occur. Remember the Boxing Day tsunami 2 years ago? The flood serves as an early warning as deforestration continues to destroy the environment. Perhaps only the Main Mountain Range in the peninsula is shielding the folks in Klang Valley from experiencing a similar occurance.

In all my paintings, I can do anything that my imagination allows in my world. I can decide where to place the mountains, and whether I will have a river here or plant a big tree there. This is my artistic right! Similarly, the good news is that, no matter what situation you are in, you have total control over how it will affect your state of mind. You can choose to invite peace into your heart or feel lost amidst the chaos that envelops our hyperactive world esp during this end of the year holiday season. Right in the middle of the midnight countdown to Christmas Day, amid the shouting, the clapping, the blaring and the balloon popping, I was doing a little reflective prayer on my own, standing there among the crowd of revellers and happy children. This is the best gift you can give to yourself. Nothing, not even the tidal waves, can destroy your peace, if you do not allow it to happen.

If you are among the millions of bloggers who are writing for a better world, remember that change comes from within.

'Be the change you wish to see in the world' - Gandhi

Boxing Day falls on Dec 26th and is an English tradition - means boxes of food and cash given to the poor. They are traditionally given to those not able to celebrate Christmas dinners with their families eg the servants. Maybe we can celebrate this here with the less fortunate.

Seaside Magic

It is not uncommon for people to state that they belong to a certain religion and yet hold one or more views that are contrary to what he or she believes. I can tell you that I am a Christian and that I belong to a certain denomination. Yet, my belief system, is a synthesis of ancient Greek philosophy, post-modern existentialism plus some other Eastern thoughts besides the Christian creed. Yes, it does look more like a case of confused identity! Besides, there is so much more to learn in life. I guess, the best method to reveal who you really are, your thoughts and belief system, is to write them down, as what I am doing now online.

In fact, this blog is meant to be a spirituality blog, designed to help people with spiritual and emotional needs. It does not represent the views of any organised religion, as I do not wish to unintentionally offend anyone or cause misunderstanding. I also do not want to project a 'holier than thou' image of myself. Controversies on religious matters have often led to an 'us versus them' mentality which is very divisive. I see my attachment to spirituality as something of a passinate pursuit - believing that God is everywhere and only when you truly believe are you capable to connect to Him. As I have mentioned in my earlier post, imagine yourself standing at a beach and looking up to the beautiful evening sky. At that moment, you would feel that you are really not that significant and that the universe is much, much larger than you. As a fellow traveller in this short life, I can say that much of life is about suffering, although it is also only temporary. This is evidenced by the fact that many people in parts of this world are still living in poverty. A child dies every 5 seconds due to poverty related illnesses. Every minute, a child or newborn is diagnosed with HIV. I dream of one day when we will enter into a world without poverty and diseases.

Where do all the evil stuff in this world come from? Much as I would like to avoid talking about it, there is, at the back of my mind, an admission that we, because of our human nature, have an intrinsic dark side in us. This dark side is something that many of us would not want to come out and openly confess about. However, do not be afraid to bring it before God; His Light will illuminate us and overcome our sins, our weaknesses and imperfections. There is no point being pesimistic or have an obsessive guilty conscience about our sinful nature as if we are born to be wicked by nature as some people would want us to believe. That's why sometimes we hear people say that 'children are all snakes', or that if a man meets a misfortune, that's because of his hidden sinful past.

Therefore, because of who man is, when one comes before the Almighty, who is benevolent and all Light, there is at once, a feeling of fear as well as a sense of the sublime. We tremble as we worship God. More than just a fiction for children, here is an excerpt from the book The Wind in the Willow, by Kenneth Grahame which illustrates perfectly what I mean:

`This is the place of my song-dream, the place the music played to me,' whispered the Rat, as if in a trance. `Here, in this holy place, here if anywhere, surely we shall find Him!'

Then suddenly the Mole felt a great Awe fall upon him, an awe that turned his muscles to water, bowed his head, and rooted his feet to the ground. It was no panic terror--indeed he felt wonderfully at peace and happy--but it was an awe that smote and held him and, without seeing, he knew it could only mean that some august Presence was very, very near. With difficulty he turned to look for his friend. and saw him at his side cowed, stricken, and trembling violently. And still there was utter silence in the populous bird-haunted branches around them; and still the light grew and grew.

Perhaps he would never have dared to raise his eyes, but that, though the piping was now hushed, the call and the summons seemed still dominant and imperious. He might not refuse, were Death himself waiting to strike him instantly, once he had looked with mortal eye on things rightly kept hidden. Trembling he obeyed, and raised his humble head; and then, in that utter clearness of the imminent dawn, while Nature, flushed with fulness of incredible colour, seemed to hold her breath for the event, he looked in the very eyes of the Friend and Helper; saw the backward sweep of the curved horns, gleaming in the growing daylight; saw the stern, hooked nose between the kindly eyes that were looking down on them humourously, while the bearded mouth broke into a half-smile at the corners; saw the rippling muscles on the arm that lay across the broad chest, the long supple hand still holding the pan-pipes only just fallen away from the parted lips; saw the splendid curves of the shaggy limbs disposed in majestic ease on the sward; saw, last of all, nestling between his very hooves, sleeping soundly in entire peace and contentment, the little, round, podgy, childish form of the baby otter. All this he saw, for one moment breathless and intense, vivid on the morning sky; and still, as he looked, he lived; and still, as he lived, he wondered.

'Rat!' he found breath to whisper, shaking. `Are you afraid?'

`Afraid?' murmured the Rat, his eyes shining with unutterable love. `Afraid! Of HIM? O, never, never! And yet--and yet-- O, Mole, I am afraid!'

Then the two animals, crouching to the earth, bowed their heads and did worship.

It's That Pagan Christmas Tree Again

It's that most wonderful time of the year again. Today I'm going to reveal my rebellious side on the issue of celebrating a unique event in a religiously correct manner. I'm talking about Christmas, of course, which for many people will mark the beginning of a week long holiday all the way to New Year's Day. And despite all the ground rules telling me to look at this Christian calendar in a true and reflective Christian perspective, I'm still going to celebrate it in full pagan style, as I've always done so in the past.

The meaning of Christmas, to me and I'm sure to the majority of people of different faiths in this country, is nothing without the Christmas tree, which happened to be have originated from Pagan traditions. In fact, this year I'm going to light up a red Xmas tree for my house party. Then, I'm going to do something crazy - I'll get myself drunk and volunteer to be Santa at the shopping complex. (Don't worry - I'm still a sober doctor). The reality is, if we try to take away the tree, the gifts (and giving), the caroling, the food and alcohol, the pre-Christmas shopping and Santa Claus, we don't have much to celebrate. It's like having a dead tree without the lighting.

Going back to history, the early Christians in Roman times chose to celebrate Jesus' birthday in Dec 25th although it coincided with the pagan holiday celebrating the birth of their Sun God. So, we shouldn't blame anyone for putting pagan elements into a Christian event. If we try to 'purify' this festival by extracting the worldly pagan themes, this attempt will fail. The commercialisation of Christmas has a long, long tradition, so much so that it has become sentimental to so many people. There wouldn't be Christmas if we do not hear Christmas tunes in the shopping mall.

No, I'm not trying to downplay efforts by the church to spread the true message of the Nativity. I'll still be going to church on Christmas Eve. My daughter will be performing in a High School Musical dance number (I think a lot of teens are into HSM nowadays) and I will enjoy singing the Christmas hymms. I am looking forward to the message from the pastor. Yesterday, I was pleasantly surprised to hear carollers singing contemporary Christian worship songs like 'Give Thanks' and 'In Christ Alone' instead of just the usual traditional carols at a popular crowded shoping mall. This, at least to me, shows true diversity and extraordinary tolerance in our multireligious society as we move forward and try to understand one another. At the same time, we showed the foreigners, the Western and Arabian shoppers who happened to be there, how different but harmonious we can be. You have to be there to appreciate the moment.

So I don't see what's all the fuss about not celebrating the meaning of Christmas. Many people outside the Christian faith however, tend to take Christmas as a time for shopping, partying and revelling. Let's not complain about it. In fact, since Christmas is rooted in non - Christian tradition, let all people from all faiths take this opportunity and come together to celebrate this occasion in the spirit of Muhibbah and with peace and joy in their hearts. Don't go home to your pity party this Christmas - let's share this together. Let us be one voice.

The World Is Flattened / Your Real Home

Today's article in the Tech section of NST paints a rosy picture of the outsourcing industry as Malaysia is considered one of the more preferred country for this sort of business in the world (study done by Frost and Sullivan). Although the job is stressful and highly competitive, as was told to me by my patients, outsourcing really took off with the advent of the internet and fibreoptic cabling which sparked a new collaboration between America and other third world countries, in particular India. It is mostly taken up by young people, who do not mind working nights. Training for the post is stringent. Although they speak English but in their own accent, they were trained to speak in American or British accents, depending on which country they were assigned to. Some will take up common Western names like Thomas and Paul and Janet to help them better relate to their clients. When I have problems with my Ipaq PocketPC, I will just call up the toll free HP service centre based in Bangalore, India and the technicians there, who caters for clients in Msia, Singapore and the Philippines are usually very forthcoming in providing their assistance. What impressed me most is that they will just call me back a few days later to check if everything is ok (perhaps I should do the same for my patients). As in many Asian culture, many of these employees will apportion part of their salaries to their parents, while some will take day classes to aim for higher qualification and hopefully better pay one day.

We must be prepared to change and adapt, so says Thomas Friedman, the author of No.1 bestseller The World Is Flat. Globalisation is the trend because the world is shrinking. The playing field is flattened, and competition is thrown wide open. We must be reminded that multinational companies, like greedy individuals, will push for lower cost and increased productivity. Certain countries like China and Vietnam are much preferred because their goods are cheaper due to abundant and cheap labour. Even some traditional business in America, like the cotton mills, are closing down because of this globalisation effect.

Ever since the fall of the Berlin Wall (and communism), the world had to depend on only one system, capitalism. Unfortunately, capitalism has its nasty flaws. It can make some people very rich, and some very poor. However, people who are ignorant will not survive, especially if they are slow to respond to market forces, are not competitive and not in-sync with global trends. Even in the beautiful city of Dalian, China where major corporations like Microsoft, HP, Sony and Dell have set up bases there, university grads, especially those in the IT line, were told to take up a year of study of English to improve communication.

In the medical line, Mr Friedman cited an example of the use of high speed internet connection to transmit radiological images from a hospital in America to a country half the world away, with a 12 hour time difference, to be interpreted by their on call radiologist who can provide an urgent diagnosis when most of the radiologists in America are sleeping at night. I think the same could be done for blood test and pathological specimen report. However, in all these cases, clinical correlation based on physical findings of the patient is very important. Furthermore, the administrators must address the question of online information security.

So, where do we fit in this globalised world? Globalisation doesn't mean going to a Western country and having to eat Western food everyday. In fact, its exactly the opposite. With outsourcing and homesourcing, the workers can stay put, keep in touch with family and friends and continue to enjoy local food and entertainment at a fraction of a cost. Its not like we are katak di bawah tempurung. In fact, Friedman says that if all the frogs living in their particular well were to be able to connect from one well to another, they will have greater feedom.

And, while we continue to seek out greener pastures to improve our living conditions, we must not be too comfortable with life in this world. Our real home is heaven (not a heavenly home but really in heaven!). The emotional believer will say that heaven is so real to him or her now while the sceptic will ask 'Izzit really? Are we anywhere closer to heaven?'

I am just taking the middle ground. There will always be questions like Is there really a heaven? Who is going there and what will it be like? What will I do there? Why should I think about it while I'm still on earth? I believe if you have a deep relationship with God, you will sometimes want to think about it. In the meantime, I have just browsed thru the book written by C.S. Lewis called The Great Divorce about a group of people who took a day trip by bus to the kingdom of heaven. Here is a glimpse of what they saw about how solid and real heaven is, thanks to Lewis' wonderful imagination:

I got out. The light and coolness that drenched me were like those of summer morning, early morning a minute or two before the sunrise, only that there was a certain difference......

It was the light, the grass, the trees that were different; made of some different substance, so much solider than things in our country......

I saw people coming to meet us. Because they were bright I saw them while they were still very distant ...... the earth shook under their tread as their strong feet sank into the wet turf. A tiny haze and a sweet smell went up where they had crushed the grass and scattered the dew ...... the robes did not disguise the massive grandeur of muscle and the radiant smoothness of flesh ...... no one struck me as being of any particular age. One gets glimpses even in our country of that which is ageless - heavy thought in the face of an infant, and frolic childhood in that of an old man. Here it was all like that.